I'm currently in the Writing Center waiting for people to come in and ask for help. It's kind of boring, but I blame myself for not having anything to do. "All in the Timing" closed yesterday and I awoke to an annoying message on my phone telling me to get to the theatre as soon as possible. It turns out Tony received a memo this morning from Dr. Wallace asking for the stage to be cleared and cleaned for a recital tonight. So, we had to strike the set in a couple of hours this monring. It was rough, my body is completely soar and I don't really feel like doing much at all. I'm here waiting to tutor, and then its off to Water Basketball, where I shall wear myself out even more and then get to go home and relax. I cannot wait for that moment to come.

I need to make an appointment with that back doctor. Now that I have time on my hands, I'm not going to know what to do. On my way home yesterday, I really worked up the courage to make a short again. Filming "All in the Timing" brought me back into a filming mode. Not to mention, some of the actors on stage can really play well with a close up from the camera. I've been messing around with a bunch of ideas like always. I'm still keeping Kaleidoscope on the table. It seems possible to get shot by shot every other day or week. That would give the actors time to familiarize themselves with the lines. It's been a while since my last revision to the script, so I might do that in order to refrain from bordom.

In cinema news, I watched Douglas Sirk's "Written on the Wind" and thought it was fantastic! Sirk knows how to tell a story with a camera!

REVOLUTIONARY ROAD TRAILER!!!

I have broken out of my sadness shell thanks to the trailer for Sam Mendes' new film "Revolutionary Road." I've been watching so much Cassavetes the past few weeks that seeing the same thing but different really gives me a thrill. This film, which was offered to Todd Field for direction, was turned down so he could make "Little Children." What we have from Mendes' is a piece of work with the same caliber of acting, camera style, set design, and realistic emotional struggle. I don't want to compare the two films anymore, because A) I haven't seen this yet, and B) I want to go and watch the trailer again. I know it's too early to hope for a best picture, but compred to the shit I've had to sit through this year (excluding the Dark Knight) this really gets me pumped and proud to go to the movies!

PS: I had to search hard for a trailer link to the film, because Paramount and Dreamworks have people deleting them off of Youtube. I found this bad boy on a Japanese Youtube clone called "RuTube." Enjoy! I know I will again!

John Cassavetes' Opening Night is tonight, but mine is tomorrow...

Today was a shitty day, but now that I'm home with my laptop and movies, I think I'm settled. I won't go into the specifics regarding my day, but it was a domino effect where everything piled onto the next creating more tension. Most of it exists in my neck since I twisted it again yesterday during rehearsal. I've just decided to ignore pain and move on... at least until after HELL WEEK!

I get really nervous when a performance nears. Most people handle it okay, but I'm somewhat terrified. There's something incredibly frighteningly reckless about going out in front of many people and perform. I think about the actor I am off the stage and it scares me. Everyone acts differently when they off their "stage." You get to a point where acting interferes with living. But I guess it's something no one can control. I have been really stressed out lately and try to hide it. Some of the time it slips out, but most of the time I hide it in, which is really bad for me, but I don't know what else to do.

I love real-life struggles in people. Maybe it's about seeing something and thinking, "yeah, I can see that happening" that really makes a great struggle. I came home and found this clip from John Cassavetes' "Opening Night" and love it a lot. It's a great scene with Cassavetes' usual Ben Gazarra and Zohra Lampert caught in a struggle with their marriage. It's such a great scene that shows how some people really have layers upon layers of feelings. Whether they're feelings of remorse, selfishness, love or loneliness, they're overall still feelings. The two actors do a great job conveying a sense of realism with their emotions. In difficult situations sometimes people can be so confused that laughter can bring them back to reality, but sometimes getting back to a harsh reality is troubling. Just watch the clip. It's great. What's your take on Cassavetes? Hah.

I need to write here more often.

I'll just leave it at that. No defense.

Yesterday, I found out that Mom is planning on moving to Washington DC, because Jan's new contract makes it where she cannot be at home the length of time she wants. I don't want to sound mean, but it feels typical for Mom to just pack up and leave. Don't get me wrong, I love her, but it just seems typical. And this is what she told Dad, "I don't know what to do with Drew." What to do with Drew? That sounds kind of insulting. By the way, Drew thinks he's old enough to live on his own with his friends. I'm in favor of him doing what he wants to do, but it just seems like he's more easily capable of getting into deeper trouble if he's on his own with his friends. So, the talk is whether Drew should move to DC or in with Dad. Once again, mom proposes dad taking Drew, but may later take it back. The truth is, no matter how scary it is, Drew is old enough to do what he wants to do. The problem is I don't know if Drew knows what he wants. I make my observation based on the fact Drew doesn't know what he wants. It's just all fucked up. It stresses me out knowing that it's stressing him out. He's coming up here this weekend, so maybe we'll have a chance to bond again.

On the subject of stress, I really feel a lot of that now. Everything from getting my court activities finished to being well prepared for my Computer Science test on Monday and Health test on Tuesday, all the way to "All in the Timing" premiering next Wednesday. It's hard to relax. I'm still having trouble sleeping at nights. I feel like shit and can't think straight. Good thing Starbucks opens in six hours. I have a big feeling that I will be needed caffeine tomorrow. And hopefully the crash will come when I'm forced to attend "Les Miserables" at the Fox. I shouldn't gripe, because Dad has spend practically 100 bucks a ticket, and don't you know Lynn reminds me that every chance she can get.

Work in the shop is rough. It all started earlier this week when Jenna, a fellow theatre student approached and informed me that we'll be lighting the show the following day. This upset me, because lighting is one of my favorite things to do and Tony had not mentioned a word to me about lighting yet. When she told me this it made me kind of upset, because she's not the shop assistant anymore, I am. And this morning it occurred to me that I had to attend a class in Atlanta, therefore would be forced to miss work. After sitting in three rush-hour jams, I went to rehearsal to find out that they worked on lighting today. Not only did I have to witness fresh Source 4's and Pars hanging on first electric, but I was reminded by Jenna of what they did. She said, "We worked on lighting today. Isn't that awesome?" I literally had to grind my teeth from blowing up. From this and the fact she was giving strict notes as Stage Manager. And the fact that I cannot get over the self-censorship of the play. It's incredibly unprofessional for an actor to say "damn" compared to "goddamn", or "screw" instead of "fuck." Many will agree that it's not only not funny, but it sounds incredibly elementary. People are fucking stupid. Also, there's this new kid named Andrew, who thinks he's all that. And yes, he fits in with this group perfectly, but I cannot get over the fact how much this guy loves himself. And there are things he's adding to Phillip Glass that just make it awful. Well, I guess I'll let everyone judge it for themselves next week.

I'm just in a real bad mood. I hate being stressed out and I need a cure. Perhaps the cinema of Douglas Sirk can mend my cognitive bruises. It's worth a try.

I lost my USB drive sometime last Friday. I have tried staying positive this weekend, but this morning I woke up and have it down to two last ideas. Well, first, yesterday I drove like a bat out of hell all the way down to Barnesville in search of it. I arrived at the theatre to find it looking more decorated. And the table sitting in stage center was missing. That was where I guessed my USB would be. So, I came home and emailed Dr. Janssen asking if he found one in the writing lab. He said no, but to send out one of those lame group emails to everyone in the writing center. Actually it's not so lame, because to me, the concerns of finding my missing important USB far pass those of picking out names or sending jokes, therefore, I don't feel weird about it anymore. But first, I want to go back to suggestion one in the shop. I think after I texted Tony on Saturday, he went over to do a little work later and found it. I can only hope so. I'm going in early to school first thing to check with him. Although, if I found it, I think he'd text me back. Shit. If he did find it, I will praise him. Same goes for anyone who hopefully picked it up in the writing center. I would officially stop calling them all by my chosen stereotyped names and communicate with them by their real name, or even stupid one's they pick.

Anyways, this morning is hectic thinking about my USB drive. It shouldn't be a big deal, but it is. This shows my complete lack of responsibility. What if you replaced baby with every time I used the word USB in the above paragraph. What if baby means Unidentified Sitting Baby? The drive is just as important as a baby to me at this point in life. What if someone aborted my USB? If someone in the writing lab found it and erased everything, I will go pro-life. And I can make arguments like, "Who would erase a masterpiece halfway through its proofreading process." Yes, I was referring to a baby that time and not my script Hahahaha (laughs like Steve Coogen). Anyways, I'd better get ready for school and to face the truth. I might need to stop at Starbucks in order to prepare with a nice cup of......? I need a new drink to get me through to day. I do LOVE Red Rooster's frozen hot chocolate drink. It's SOOOOOOOO good. But missing the essential ingredient to get through the day - caffeine! I need a new drink from Starbucks.

This was a VERY interesting weekend!

FRIDAY: Work canceled, came home and ate a really great meal. Worked a little of my screenplay and then when I got in bed, I saw that Bill Maher was new! I watched and laughed really hard.

SATURDAY: Worked only 3 1/2 hours of community service and was signed off for working all 8 hours. Came home, relaxed, and worked on the script. Amy called and we ate lunch at Italian Oven. I had a stromboli, ate most of the bread and two twix bars at the movie. We saw Hamlet 2 and literally died laughing. One of the best comedies I have ever seen. I think it's Flirting with Disaster good. Went to Books-A-Million and developed a new taste for GOOD graphic novels. Wikipeida says that the difference between graphic novels and comic books are that graphic novels have "lengthy and complex storylines similar to novels and often are aimed for MATURE AUDIENCES." Another words, graphic novels are comic books with profanity, violence, and sex. How come I'm just not getting into this?

SUNDAY: Woke up and worked on my script some more. Ate breatfast with Ma at IHOP. There, I developed an acuired tase for black coffee. Don't ask me why. I came home and worked on the scipt again until it was dark outside, then watched John Cassavetes' "Opening Night" for the second time. After that, I worked on the script again until I became tired. Developed a bad neckache earlier on and it went on throughout the night even with a scolding hot bath and relaxing on a heating pad. Watched "The Mummy" as I went to bed. Couldn't sleep, because I was laughing at The Mummy.

MONDAY: Woke up, drank a glass of sweet tea and worked on the script. Watched an episode of Dexter and went back to working on the script. Neck still hurt, so I decided to ice it. Worked on my lines for the play and went right back to writing the script. And finally, I finished the script.

I think Four-Day Weekends should be made into a law. I seem to get so much done and manage to have a fucking awesome time. The neck is still hurting, but from the happiness brought on from the weekend, I feel pretty good. In one weekend, I have become a graphic novel reading, black coffee drinking, writer. It's like I'm not the same person anymore. Tonight I am unveiling the title of my freshly completed screenplay. It's 123 pages. If I made it into a film, it would have a two hour running time. That's really cool. I don't know howI wrote it this weekend, but I did. So, here it is:

I don't know when I'll be completely finished with it and ready for it to be read, but I will be doing a lot of proofreading this week. Thank God for my busy job in the writing lab. I'm actually proud of myself for writing it. I mean, I didn't think it was possible and yet I did it. Negative thinking is really bad. Everyone has it, but it's better to use negative attitude to fight negative attitude. I guess they cancel each other out and I'm left with only positive attitude. It sounds like The Secret. Oh well, time to go over my lines. I don't want to weekend to end! The weekend means "end of week," now I'm going through a weekendend. This never ends! Love it!