Drunkenness Is A Warm Gun

I’m not going to lie. Being drunk is fun. The after-effect is fucking awful, but the good feeling (which I usually call “buzzed”) is absolutely wonderful. I do fear alcohol, but I have to remember that you can’t live your life in fear. Reality just sometimes feels so in place that getting out of place sometimes creates mental stability. It creates head, liver and stomach instability, but everything has consequences. As far as acting stupid, fuck it. The only thing that matters is if you feel good. Of course this is sober Will talking, who has finally recovered from a fairly-bad hangover. Yesterday, I probably was in the mood to never drink again, but in all honesty, you get kicked off the horse, you get back on. Or maybe just find another horse. Let’s say that a Jager Horse knocks you off very hard, well there’s always the Grey Goose Horse waiting to be ridden, so….. saddle up cowboy! I just figure that later on in life, I’m going to be old and miserable and so I want to have fun while I still am financially, mentally and physically able. I do understand the risks of becoming an alcoholic, which is good. Most people don’t even understand the risks, which puts them a step ahead towards alcoholism. Either that or I’m just saying that to justify the fact I still want to drink. I don’t know… It’d a difficult subject. One in fact, that I need a drink in order to talk about. Haha. Anyways, while I’m on the subject of drunkenness, here’s a clip from John Cassavetes’ “Husbands.” I don’t know what to say about it, but watch it.

Season Finale

Today felt like a season finale in a television show. Most good TV shows always have a good season finale with unique qualities. The main one present is that everything is coming to an end. This is in regards to the production of the show, but also the action taking place within the show. It seems that today, being the last full length day of school really felt like the perfect ending to a TV show. In the Writing Center, everything felt different. It was the first time we all crowded around the front table and just had fun. There were probably ten people turned away who needed help. Just kidding. We managed to tutor some people in our fun time, but failed to do our job in recording the required paperwork. Yes, it was great, because we all connected at the party (some of us more than others) and that togetherness followed through to the final work day. Maybe the fact it was our last day played a major role in this. I never really liked the crowd well enough to hang out, but today was a lot of fun. Just like a season finale, you never want it to end, but you know it's coming. That's how today felt. Dr. Janssen was exceptionally nice to us today. It was, in a way, almost creepy. He shared a story with Amy and myself about his college days in Athens, which really created a whole new awkwardness. I really do see myself going over to his place and jamming with “the guys.” I cannot picture “hanging out” with professors, but it would be neat to kick back with Tony, David, Ed, and Bob (the janitor in the Academic Building, whom Dr. Janssen tells me plays blues on a mean banjo). Just kidding. I could play with them, but never do the first name thing. Anyways, as the day slowly came to an end, one by one, an employee would say their goodbyes and make their exit until it was down to just me. Actually, it was down to Mr. Higgins, Derrek, and myself. I didn’t have the cinematic moment I hoped for. I would be the last one there, push in all the chairs, close the blinds, turn our the lights, and just as I would shut the door, I’d turn around and say, “Goodbye.” As cheesy as it sounds, I really am going to miss that place as well as Gordon College in general. I realized today that I’ve spent three years there. That’s almost the length of high school, which was an eternity. It just seems like the end, but I keep forgetting that in all honesty, it’s the beginning. I shook Tony’s hand and said my goodbye. But something was still missing. I made a great contribution to the theatre department and I felt like a mark in my honor was necessary. What, if Truet Cathy can have the rock hard eagle statue in the lobby, I can leave my mark. So, I took some leftover paint, climbed on a table and wrote my name and date on the theatre workshop tool-room wall. Afterwards, it felt really good. And so, I left the theatre for the last time. Here’s a picture of it:

Last night, while in my frustrating project/study binge, I received a text message from Dan. He demanded an explanation regarding the fact no one has received their Rocky Horror DVD's. I ignored it and continued studying. A few minutes later, I received another from Jenna, again regarding the DVD's, also mentioning that Dan had just asked her. I ignored it again, but a few more minutes later, I received another text, this time from John Wright, and yes, he also asked about the Rocky DVD's. I finally turned my phone off, because I literally was getting angry. So, this morning, I woke up early, went to the Post Office in Hampton and shipped my only two copies of Rocky Horror to Dan in Arizona. Now it's his problem. If people want to keep badgering me about it, I'll simply tell them to take it up with Dan, because it's not my problem anymore. Now it's up to him to make copies and ship them individually to everyone. Anyways, that added to my frustration last night. It payed off, because today my journal looked fantastic, and I also scored a 92 on my Astronomy test. Today also was my last day in Water Basketball. I scored five goals and played my hardest. I finally scored for the first time in a while. It took me about three misses, but then I scored from quite a distance. Coach even yelled, "That a boy, Will! Go Will!" It was great. My strongest position is defensive guard. Ask anyone in that class and they will tell you I play a mean defense. The best thing to do is instill fear into your opponent and then do whatever it takes to get the ball away from them. When doing so, sometimes my arms reach around their backs and a foul is called. I received three of those today. One I even argued over with the coach. The best part about today was at one point when I tried to rebound the ball at the goal, something happened. Either the ball came down and hit me in the face, or an opponent accidentally swung his elbow into my head. Whichever the case being, I have a nice bruised eye. It's actually more on the side of my eye and runs up to my forehead. I'm keeping ice on it, so tomorrow it should look awesome.

In other news, I think I'm getting more serious about making this short. I want to say that sometime not next week, but the week after, I'm hoping to get some shooting done. Hopefully next weekend, after school is out, I can sit down with Josh and Jenna and give them what I've written and see if they can improvise with it. I want to experiment with some written dialogue and some ad-libbed. I've talked to Kirk and Will and they said it's fine that I shoot in their apartment. Will is going into film also and wants to be a cinematographer. Maybe I'll let him shoot part of it as compensation. Anyways, everything seems to be falling in line, and so I'm afraid that I'll screw everything up again and nothing will get done.

I found a guy online who sells bootleg DVDs: everything from cult to unreleased classics. I bought two unreleased John Cassavetes movies: Husbands and Love Streams. I figure if Cassavetes was alive, he probably wouldn't mind that I'm going out of my way to see his two films. Not to mention the only reason the two films haven't been released is because the Studios have the rights, but just refuse put it out. Cassavetes is probably rolling in his grave.

Tomorrow I have my health class in the gym. Another three mile run on the treadmill.

Once again, I will end up pouting about my failure to successfully accomplish the completion of a short film. The reason of this is because today is the Georgia State film showcase festival, which I could be attending much less submitted a film. I'm of course being responsible by working and going to class tonight. I could have easily faked a sickness and got someone to cover me, but it just seems like too much work. Kind of similar to the excuse I give for not making a film now. This festival marks yet another opportunity passing before me.

I did however write a short script this weekend. Saturday night, after my plants to attend "The Crawling Eye" fell apart, I ended up going out, buying Kuhlua, and after four White Russians, I finished a short script. I wanted to write something that felt real and that people around my age might be able to relate to. I wanted to show the struggles of being young, and yet slowing moving into adulthood. How the entire world seems tiny, but once actually seeing it, the world appears actually quite large. I don't know. I'm really making it sound ridiculous and it probably doesn't qualify for comparison to that description. I just wanted to put off sleep and write something. I bet I can shoot it. The problem is if I will do it. It's a simple two maybe three character story with very minimum locations, probably only one. I can use Kirk and Will's apartment to shoot the whole thing. Maybe I should really get serious for once. My frustration is becoming annoying.

I had better study. Time for blogging later...